Forgot my Journal

I forgot my journal today, the paper version, and I must say it’s put me into a bit of a twist. Why does this keep happening?

We are at Bear Creek Park, just across the lake from Kelowna, and finishing off this leg of our camping trip. This may be the last camping we do for the year, but only time will tell.

I’ve come down to the beach to write and had hoped to use my journal but alas it’s not to be found in the stuff I brought. It once again makes me wonder where on earth I put shit and why I have so much difficulty lately keeping track of my belongings. I’m beginning to have fears and losing my memory is one of them.

Mostly I think it’s just being lackadaisical but the fear is real nonetheless. Lately I can count many very scary ‘losses’ to my record, all found again but the fear at the time quite unsettling. There was my new favourite cap, and don’t forget my 24-120mm camera lens that I thought was with it. In fact I had a memory of them together, and could place where I thought I’d lost them. In fact I went out and bought a new lens, duh! The hat was ultimately found at Ayron’s and the lens in the console of the truck. I don’t really recall lvg either of them in the places they ended up. There were also numerous incidents of misplacing keys for the truck, car or trailer. And let’s not forget my ear stud which kinda started it all. It mysteriously disappeared from my ear and wasn’t found (on my nightstand) until Moze asked St. Anthony for help. She’s done that a few times, with success I might add.

So writing at the beach is where I’m at. I’m using EverNote to prepare my blog, as I’ve done a few times and usually due to a poor or non-existent wifi or cell signal. Here, at the beach, there is no wifi but I can tether to my phone if needed. There’s just no sense using data unnecessarily if I don’t have to though. I bought an extra 10g I think but that’s largely gone.

Once the writing is done I can copy/paste to the blog and deal with the photo(s) if I happen to have any. Certainly a Feature Photo and maybe others if it strikes me. Today I chose my feature photo first, which is also uncommon. Frequently I write then pick a pic.

The photos are a big part of my thoughts right now. I want them both for my blog(s) and for Instagram, FB, maybe Flickr, and also my personal photo site. Photography has become somewhat of a focus for me lately and while I haven’t generated vast numbers of them it has become something I like to do, an outlet and a means of expression. Perhaps it’s the artistic side being developed (no pun intended) and again I’d refer to Elly and her counsel.

The photography has become such a focus that I’m becoming fixated on the ‘Likes’ and ‘Followers’ that are found on the different Social Networks. They are a drug and a very real narcotic as many studies show. I notice my own addiction to them and the desire to increase the ‘dosage’. To that end I changed my Instagram account to Public and tried to post more photos there. They are often still of the g-kids but a larger percentage is of more varying nature.

I’ve cut back on the car shots but that may only be due to no recent car shows. This weekend that will likely change as I’m off to Nelson again for my ‘fix’. I’ve tried to more candids of strangers and I think I may want to try to do a ‘sunglasses’ theme. So many varying styles etc. on so many interesting people. Nature, rather landscapes, is still a staple and my enthusiasm for that doesn’t seem to wane.

My mood and feelings of wellbeing have remained mostly static. I do have my days where I fall off the wagon but don’t we all. The largest change seems to have come from:

a) an increase in my meds, or,

b) a daily dosage of iron.

Perhaps it’s both. Whichever, it is the energy I can draw on that has increased. Again I still have my moments of ‘down’ but I put those mostly to having or being around the g-kids for periods beyond my personal capacity. Love them to death, seriously, but they are draining both in their energy and attitudes.

I think that’s it in a nutshell. I may close this and go for a walk. Maybe a beer first, who knows. We are after all camping and it is after 12:00. I just hope I can find my way back.