I just got a call from Dad. I was out (am out) for my walk so he left me a voicemail.
“I’m a little short of money”, he said.
Of course there was more but this is the jist of it. Now I don’t know what that means, does he have no money in his wallet, or did he go to the bank and think there was no money there? Shouldn’t be the latter because I just went online (from my phone, cuz I can) and checked his balance. Inquiring minds need to know. I’m confused. I’ll call him shortly to get the lowdown.
I still feel frustration when I talk to him. That alone pisses me off, that I get frustrated, never mind whatever he calls about. And it’s not like he’s always calling, but typically when he does there’s some issue that needs resolving. Often it isn’t even an issue but more like a situation where he has something confused.
Look at me, who’s the whiner in this story? I should be grateful he’s still around. I AM grateful. We never know what we’ve got until after its gone, that’s a for sure. He ALWAYS tells me he appreciates me, and whatever small things I can do for him ARE small in the big picture. Next time I whine slap me upside the head, k?
As I’m sitting here in the coffee shop, smelling the fresh brew and warm pastries, I love to watch the people. I think I could study them all day, trying to figure out their stories. Right now there’s a man and small child across from me playing tic-tac-toe.
I think he must be the grandpa, the boy his grandson. He’s appears to be about my age (old) but you never know these days, it could be a second relationship for him. What you can tell is that he’s thoroughly enjoying the toddler, and trying to teach him the game. They chatter back and forth and occasionally I hear a giggle from the boy, or a guffaw from the elder. There’s pride in the grandpa’s eyes.
These scenes warm my heart. I think of the future with my grandson, perhaps I’ll teach him tic-tac-toe as well. Maybe we’ll go for coffee when he gets older. I hope so.
These situations makes me feel somewhat in limbo land. I think of my Dad and his needs. I think of his care, and what his future may hold. I think of my connection with him, our past.
I also think of my kids, I ponder what could have been with my son Shawn had he not died. What would we have done together? How would we have bonded? This makes me sad.
And I think of my grandson, and what our future might look like. How many things we can do together. This makes me optimistic and happy.
So it’s about life isn’t it, the past, present, and future. They are all so important. How do I connect them?