Can I live without them? Will I still be depressed?
Some time ago I posted about cutting back on my meds, the post was called The Call Has Been Made, All in Favor? I relented at that time and said No, I won’t cut back, I’ll leave well enough alone and for a variety of reasons.
I’ve since changed my mind once again and done what I said I wouldn’t do. I’ve cut back to one tablet a day (when I remember to take them at all of course), that would be 15 mg I think. I made the move about a week or 10 days ago now.
I am not sure how I feel, or rather I’m unsure if how I feel is better or just the status quo. I understand that moods can be varied and I’m optimistic that my changes in mood, if that’s all they are, are more a result of extraneous environmental elements rather than just me having screwed up brain synapses. I think depression is funny that way.
I have been vacillating in my decision to play with dosages because on the one hand it’s likely something I should do with a Doctors support, and on the other I’m getting frustrated that I have to keep taking the stupid pills. I think I’m past the point where they are necessary, or certainly hope so anyway.
And yes, I know, “hope is not a plan”, but without making a move of some kind I guess I’ll never know. Is now the right time? Is there ever a “right” time? There are a number of things going on in my life right now, the trick will be determining which are affecting me and whether my feelings about them would be any different were I on my “normal” dosage.
Only time will tell now because it’s too late, I’ve bit the bullet.