The Essence of Spring

The essence of spring is in the air and I fully intend to inhale it fully today and use it’s power to invigorate my soul.

My Angels

“When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

We’ve finally had some sun for more than 2 days running now and it’s amazing the effect it has on life. People are out in drove, either just enjoying the weather or looking at new cars, perusing garden shops, or working in their yards readying them for the new season.  I plan to spend my day doing the latter, actually 2 of the latter, going to the garden store and readying my yard.  Gardening can be a catharsis.

I find the effort spent today will invigorate me, it will build optimism in me, it will inspire me.  Whether it’s the sun or the exercise, the communing with nature, or just the opportunity to wipe some tasks off my list, it generally builds my mood and assists me in looking at the good in life.

I’ve had my challenges over the last year or so.  A mild depression had put me in a funk and whether it was the illness or my work life, or a combination of both, I felt helpless.  My moods were often poor and I saw little enjoyment in my life.  However there were a few glimpses of happiness and joy thrown in and I knew improvements could be made if I only chose to make them.  One of those choices was a decision to retire early and at this point I’d have to say it was the correct choice.  I’ve seen nothing so far that would lead me to believe otherwise and my spirits have been lifted.

That being said I did receive some mail the other day from the pension administrators that almost caused me to have a heart attack.  My pension statement came, and some other papers to sign, and with them a listing of the various pension options available to me.  The statement indicated that the monies I had coming to me would be just under $600 a month, and that amount would decrease if/when I elected to take certain guarantees and last survivor benefits.  I know many that survive (somehow) on this amount, but me?  Can’t be done.  My jaw hit the floor, and I was momentarily in a state of shock and utter dismay.  How can I possibly retire on such a small amount?  I’ll be destitute, I’ll have to go back to work………my life is over.

My mood sank, and where there was optimism it was now replaced with despair, where I had hope I now had none.  It seemed as if my life was over, or certainly ending.

Now bear in mind this all took place in the matter of a few seconds, and once reality and common sense took over I realized that this particular pension statement was only one of at least two.  In my working career I have generated more than one pension and this amount was exclusive of any others.  There is hope, I won’t have to live on scraps and pick up bottles to supplement my income, I will be ok.

With that behind me I was able to look to the future again and see the beauty of life and know how fleeting and fragile our happiness can be.  In the blink of an eye our circumstances can change and our lives could enter a turmoil there may be no easy exit from.  I must appreciate what I have today, for I may not have it tomorrow.  Spring is here, and with it the knowing that life is fleeting and seasonal, inhale it every day and enjoy the moments.

“Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.”
Samuel Butler

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