Looking for that Pay Off, Manny here I come

Where does depression leave off and laziness begin?  How do I differentiate between the two?  Is it that if I don’t have the energy it’s one and not the other, cuz let me tell you it doesn’t seem that simple to me.

I was feeling so good and now, well, not as good, and I can’t tell if it’s just me or the symptoms of something bigger.  Hmmm, inquiring minds need to know, and I can’t figure it out.  One thing I do know is that perseverance pays off, and I bound and determined to get that pay off, and it better be a big one.

Retirement dominates my thoughts lately, whether tis nobler to remain and be a martyr or to leave like a coward in the night.  Most days I think the latter is the better choice, and many of my family, friends, and acquaintances agree.  Not the coward part, but the “leaving is better” part.  Kind of depart on a high note so to speak.

I have lofty goals in my retirement, I can see myself being my kids “Manny”, their words not mine, and sitting under an old oak tree plotting my life and blogging my heart out.  That is of course between bottle feedings and the odd diaper change.  Throw in the love and adoration I’ll get from all involved and my life will be bliss.

So it seems we’ve come full circle, I’m bummed, I see a possible way to get out, and the big payoff is within my grasp.  At this point it’s only fear that holds me back (I think….).


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