A Fire in the Hole

I wish I could say I’m back with a vengeance and there’s a Fire in the Hole but that would only be wishful thinking. It’s been nigh on one month since I’ve shared anything with you and and while the holidays can take a portion of the blame it’s really only my own apathy and a general personal malaise that are responsible.  There is a pent up desire though and look out if and when it explodes.

My meds have been boosted and I had high hopes, dreams that I would once again be whole and ready to do my blogging best to spill my guts. It just never happened.  If it’s the depression I’m not sure, but I don’t feel appreciably better and my passion for the blog has waned.  It is sad that I’m saying this, and I know in my gut and in my head that while it may be true, it truely isn’t, if that makes any sense.  It’s true that right now I don’t have the passion to blog but It’s also true I want the passion to do just that.  I think/hope I can get it back, I believe I have the knack for this and I’ll do my utmost to get back my fire.

On a positive note I have been maintaining my personal journal, all hand written, and my proverbial guts are spilled there, but you haven’t the opportunity to read that now do you?  Maybe it’s for the better as it is mostly a routine bitch fest and not really the least bit entertaining I don’t think.  Here at least I have the opportunity to provide some entertainment (hopefully) and even something thought provoking, maybe stimulating.

So I’ll work on getting this fuse lit.  I hope the powder’s dry and the winds of malaise don’t overpower me.  If I can keep it going we’ll see some action, if not……..stay tuned.

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