Survived another trip

Well we’ve made it back from camping in one piece.  As I suspected the crankiness wore off, I’m not even sure why I felt that way in the fist place.  My knickers were too tight perhaps.

I did a bit more reading of The Gifted Adult and it has some compelling descriptions, some of how I see myself.  One in particular talks of a gentlemen who feels angry inside, but he hides it well and no one is the wiser.

  • He sits in meetings and wonders how they can go over the same things over and over again without coming to a conclusion or making a decision.
  • He wants to stand up and yell.
  • Co-worker’s eyes glaze over when he talks of fresh ideas, and yet some time later they come up with the same concept and it is somehow their epiphany.

I can so relate.

I’m currently at the chapter where the author discusses the gifted persons need for self actualization, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I do feel like I should be accomplishing something, most days I feel like I’m spinning my wheels.  I hate coming to work, it’s mind numbing (almost spelled dumbing, how’s that for a Freudian slip?).  I’m sure I could find things in my job to challenge me but I have no interest, I’m tired of being here and cannot rouse even the smallest interest in growing my position.  Some of this may be the depression, I think it’s more that I’m just plain tired of being here.

I often think of leaving my job, taking retirement and damning the consequences.  The financial hit could be considered substantial in some books, but I also think that if I would then be happy it would all be worth it.  Isn’t that the way it should be?  I believe I am trapped by my belongings, my things. They often seem to own me as opposed to me owning them.  But I am afraid, and as a result I do nothing except lament what could be.  This may be a topic for me to discuss with Gloria.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

6 + 13 =