I don’t know if this is really happening or am I just suffering from some form of persecution complex, an avoidance sensitivity of sorts. It seems when I pass certain others in the hall at work that there is all of a sudden this discomfort in the air, a chill, people begin stammering and looking at their shoes. This is primarily people I’ve whined at in the past so perhaps they think I’m going to whine again. That is assuming of course that what I’m perceiving is correct. If not I’m just nuts, plain and simple.
There’s been a number of my associates (what were then peers) and those above me who I’ve spilled my proverbial guts to over the past number of years, listing any number of slights I felt I’d been subjected to, complaining of the various ills the company is experiencing and how I think they should be fixed. Now bear in mind I still believe many of the situations/scenarios still exist, it’s just that now I’d be more cautious or selective in how and who I share them with. At that point I’d have to say I was in full blown “Depression“, I was certainly unwell emotionally. I will say it again though I really believe many of the problems were really there, just not everyone could see them.
That is where aspects of the giftedness come in, I could “see” things others could or would not see. And No, I’m not talking about seeing little green men, I’m thinking more of company trends, management techniques that are not productive, people that are not effective. I saw them, still do, and now the chickens are coming home to roost as they say. Anyway I think those now in management don’t get it and just think I’m a wing nut. My only satisfaction is there are those in the field who agree completely and like me feel powerless to do anything about it.
Nuf said, I still think I’m being avoided.